More tranny stories later!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
