i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
