So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
