So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
