god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize