You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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