Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
