My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
