Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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