is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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