420 ftw
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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