I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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