come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
