i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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