all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
