we have pet lesbian snakes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
