I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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