I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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