This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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