yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
