glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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