Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
being pregnant is like rehab
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
