P.S. I can't hear my feet
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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