I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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