i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
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