I bet he comes in French.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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