Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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