I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
