Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
