i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
is wine microwaveable?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
