Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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