I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
