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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.

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