We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
