Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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(402): I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents. http://tfl.nu/l0y8

Replies (9) Good night (796) Bad night (1929) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!

(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends

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(651): my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing! (651): I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends http://tfl.nu/p5go

Replies (5) Good night (630) Bad night (1775)
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(314): View more from Missouri

doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm out of practice. be my yoda

(314): View more from Missouri

put your penis in her you must.

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(314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/ti1e

Replies (58) Good night (17926) Bad night (878)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.

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(803): if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market. http://tfl.nu/j5i5

Replies (15) Good night (563) Bad night (3424) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?

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(415): if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays? http://tfl.nu/4fwl

Replies (26) Good night (868) Bad night (4572) Order T-Shirt
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(319): View more from Iowa

For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..

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(319): For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july.. http://tfl.nu/uo05

Replies (3) Good night (1021) Bad night (2570) Order T-Shirt
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he asked me to hangout with him...and his son

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(413): he asked me to hangout with him...and his son http://tfl.nu/p42y

Replies (17) Good night (872) Bad night (5233) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

apparently i was cut off before i even walked in

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(405): apparently i was cut off before i even walked in http://tfl.nu/ukez

Replies (2) Good night (2227) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.

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(313): So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk. http://tfl.nu/79dj

Replies (4) Good night (2005) Bad night (487)
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(970): View more from Colorado

We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am

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(970): We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am http://tfl.nu/badm

Replies (4) Good night (1557) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.

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(847): When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody. http://tfl.nu/5cds

Replies (3) Good night (1659) Bad night (417)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow

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(412): Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow http://tfl.nu/f59o

Replies (9) Good night (925) Bad night (1868) Order T-Shirt
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?

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(502): Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk? http://tfl.nu/ayp8

Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (1459) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.

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(860): I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us. http://tfl.nu/pfss

Replies (3) Good night (1600) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode

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(612): her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode http://tfl.nu/ptvh

Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt

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