Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains

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  (831): dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains http://tfl.nu/i60z
  Replies (79) Good night (557) Bad night (2406)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.

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  (732): I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations. http://tfl.nu/j5w5
  Replies (48) Good night (4803) Bad night (1824)
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  (914): View more from New York

  getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.

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  (914): getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/b9qd
  Replies (60) Good night (802) Bad night (6070)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes

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  (203): i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes http://tfl.nu/2sgp
  Replies (14) Good night (4562) Bad night (843)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

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  (573): Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award. http://tfl.nu/wv69
  Replies (5) Good night (2514) Bad night (621)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...

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  (517): She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name... http://tfl.nu/ngxr
  Replies (17) Good night (4823) Bad night (868)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH

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  (630): IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH http://tfl.nu/xsxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1583) Bad night (547)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.

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  (605): Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible. http://tfl.nu/ozx2
  Replies (3) Good night (1621) Bad night (567)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.

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  (765): He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever. http://tfl.nu/9j5e
  Replies (5) Good night (1174) Bad night (855)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.

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  (503): Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush. http://tfl.nu/eadi
  Replies (2) Good night (939) Bad night (775)
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  (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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  (650): No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/wggf
  Replies (17) Good night (1039) Bad night (412)
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  (323): View more from California

  Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....

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  (323): Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner.... http://tfl.nu/erk9
  Replies (8) Good night (1634) Bad night (723)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.

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  (218): I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara. http://tfl.nu/7g4h
  Replies (0) Good night (338) Bad night (582)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"

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  (775): I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!" http://tfl.nu/k6tw
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (249)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You should come by for the fire station blow job tour

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  (817): You should come by for the fire station blow job tour http://tfl.nu/ymfu
  Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (319)

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