I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA