Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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