please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
reminds me of losing my job
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
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Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life