can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
