hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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