I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize