I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
