You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
