And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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