At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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