Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
