you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
