and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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