Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
