I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
