I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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