I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
