What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize