You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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