This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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