Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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