Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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