where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
