Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
