She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just invented taco cereal.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
