i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
