I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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