sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
