New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have tasted many bathrooms
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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