I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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