Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
