My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
