he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
