I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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